🇬🇧 Resilience or the Superman Trap? Why Great Leaders Don't Need to Be Heroes

00:00:03: The best leaders are not those who can withstand any pressure.

00:00:10: They're the ones, who just recover the fastest because resilience is not built during crisis but before and after.

00:00:27: Welcome to today's Lightwolf Leadership Podcast your podcast for leading with impact.

00:00:34: many leaders believe that resilience means enduring

00:00:39: more,

00:00:40: enduring almost everything.

00:00:43: Never complaining always being available Always strong always having the answer.

00:00:51: in short they believe They have to be Superman or Superwoman and I believe this is exactly The superman trap Because the best leaders are not those who can withstand any pressure?

00:01:11: who can just recover the fastest, regain clarity provide direction when things get difficult and tough.

00:01:20: When I review my last almost fifteen years as a trainer coach and consultant –and the twenty-years in the corporate world that i had been in leadership roles prior to it–I observe a couple of phenomena that contribute Contribution number one.

00:01:43: Leaders believe they always have to be strong, many leaders would never dare show any uncertainty.

00:01:52: They deal with worries on their own inside themselves... ...they think there ALWAYS need the bedrock and lighthouse to anyone around them.

00:02:04: And while I don't deny that this is one of roles that leaders play I do challenge whether that needs to be a permanent state.

00:02:14: Because if you are the one who needs to know the answer, If You Are The One And Only Who Gives Orientation To Others Even In The Most Stressful Of Situations Then The Result Can Be Stress.

00:02:30: Building Up Decisions Becoming Increasingly Lonely Decisions deteriorating in quality because they are fed only by one mind rather than collective intelligence, and the teams around these leaders learn something that is not really helpful at all.

00:02:50: They learn that vulnerability isn't welcome in this environment... ...and it's a problem especially since occasionally showing vulnerability creating an environment of psychological safety where everyone can be themselves at any time correlates the most highly, for example in Google with high performing teams.

00:03:16: So that's problem one.

00:03:17: Problem two leaders carry too much themselves and it is a common phenomenon I have observed across thousands of leaders all those years.

00:03:29: out of sense responsibility they take on conflicts that they are not even involved in, but take the monkeys and help resolve conflicts that others should resolve on their own.

00:03:41: They take tasks & decisions & responsibilities that other just don't want to solve themselves at all.

00:03:49: All this taking of responsibility or carrying so much yourself might work in a short term And it may give solutions one after another.

00:04:00: In the long run, however it risks that you as a leader become the bottleneck.

00:04:07: And eventually first exhaust yourself and then you exhaust everyone around you.

00:04:14: Problem number three recovery is mistaken for weakness.

00:04:21: Your calendar's full.

00:04:22: The to-do list keeps growing.

00:04:25: Recovery only happens if there was any time left.

00:04:30: that there is time left simply never happens.

00:04:37: But leaders who constantly run on empty tanks, they run on an empty energy reserves... They lose exactly what modern leadership requires the most The ability to create clarity Composure and the ability make good decisions.

00:04:58: So thats why Trying to be superwoman or Superman simply doesn't work.

00:05:05: So what can you do instead?

00:05:07: Let me share a few ideas and experiences that might be more effective.

00:05:14: First, replace perfection with occasional vulnerability.

00:05:20: You don´t have an answer for every question.

00:05:25: That's not your role!

00:05:27: You are the leader of the pack.

00:05:31: Ideas emerge.

00:05:33: But rather than wanting to give all the answers, you should promote an environment starting with your own mindset of becoming buyers of ideas.

00:05:43: You first if you are a team leader or country leader The most senior person should promote the environment Of being a buyer of ideas Rather then knowing all best answer yourself Sometimes when people come to you and try to back delegate it, if your the team leader.

00:06:07: Simply say I don't know all of best answer.

00:06:11: why do we work together?

00:06:14: To find a better solution.

00:06:16: Why dont u take lead And have chat with few people on your choice?

00:06:21: Come in two days and suggest what u believe is best.

00:06:26: People do not expect U. people don't expect their leaders to be superheroes.

00:06:32: They do expect honesty and direction, they do expect that they are listened too with occasional vulnerability, admitting that you don't have all the answers every single time.

00:07:18: to what they have to say.

00:07:29: Resilient leaders build resilient teams, They develop people instead of making themselves indispensable.

00:07:37: If People come to you asking for a solution although YOU are the leader and if You give the answer then the answer depends on you And they learn that you give answers!

00:07:53: You shouldn't just return the question ask, so what would you suggest?

00:07:59: And then appreciate the answer and in at least nine out of ten times maybe in ten out of Ten Times.

00:08:05: You'll be surprised about the quality of ideas that come your way if you just ask... ...and listen!

00:08:13: This way you promote an environment where you grow your people Where you make yourself dispensable rather than indispensable.

00:08:24: That's one of the ingredients for good leadership.

00:08:27: So share responsibility instead of collecting it.

00:08:30: Tip number three Schedule recovery as deliberately As you pencil in performance, as you plan performance.

00:08:41: Just last Friday I'm working with quite a number of CEOs Never more than seven i support individually over A longer period of time.

00:08:54: so right now?

00:08:57: Two great women and five male CEOs who I'm working with.

00:09:02: Just last Friday, I had a two-hour session with one of them And we talked about the topic of sleep and he started sharing looking at his smartphone Looking at this aura app.

00:09:13: also use aura to share With me.

00:09:16: well in the last three days ahead four hours Three and half hours for an hour of sleep.

00:09:24: But at least that one night when I had three and a half hours only add one hour of deep sleep.

00:09:30: but on the weekend, I Fell asleep Honestly Saturday afternoon.

00:09:35: I was so tired.

00:09:37: I fell asleep And my wife Was not really amused unquote.

00:09:45: So i asked him dear ex is That The way you want to live?

00:09:52: are You satisfied with?

00:09:55: sleep quality that's so low, you fall asleep on the weekend.

00:09:58: Is it the life you want?

00:10:01: And he just considered briefly and then responded not

00:10:06: really.".

00:10:07: So He put to do list to reflect about sleep-quality and assess his sleeping routines and consider changing them To determine how much sleep needs him when the right sleeping windows are for him to be fit, and then plan sleep accordingly.

00:10:32: So schedule recovery as deliberately as you schedule performance.

00:10:38: Treat exercise, sleep family time or quiet downtime thinking-time on your own with the same importance because resilience is not built during the crisis.

00:10:55: It's build before and after, it's built in the habits that come before or after a crisis.

00:11:03: So in a nutshell three tips for you to Build Resilience One replace perfection with occasional vulnerability.

00:11:12: Two share responsibility instead of collecting on your own.

00:11:18: And Three schedule recovery as deliberately as your schedule performance.

00:11:24: Just a few weeks ago, I had completely accidental opportunity to meet successful young entrepreneur.

00:11:35: we met about seventy people sixty young tech founders in one of the most successful maybe these the more successful Tech startup ecosystem at least in Europe going global, the network is called Evoire.

00:11:53: It's a hundred and twenty founders of fascinating ventures – these are tech-savvy smart humble young people I love spending time with!

00:12:04: So i met Adrian Reese.

00:12:07: Adrian is successful young entrepreneur and founder of NVO Tech.

00:12:13: if you're interested look into show notes.

00:12:17: In listening to him, I detected that resilience has always been one of his superpowers.

00:12:24: Which is why... ...I spontaneously interviewed him!

00:12:29: So welcome and listen in!

00:12:34: Yeah dear Lightwolf listener….

00:12:37: …in this topic of resilience.. ..I couldn't imagine a better guest speaker & supporter on the show than Adrian Reese who has proven resilience many, many times.

00:12:49: He's a young man who is building a fantastic company and just coincidence has it that here on the other end of the world we meet each other and get into great conversations.

00:13:00: so Adrian welcome to show

00:13:02: thanks for having me.

00:13:03: So when you think about those situations Adrian where You needed to demonstrate resilience How do you deal with problems?

00:13:15: With setbacks want to stop you?

00:13:20: Yeah, for me personally setbacks just belong to the journey.

00:13:23: That's first part.

00:13:23: and second is I don't give up on my personal traits that I hate giving up, quitting or losing but always find a way.

00:13:34: Historically looking at my attraction has been one guiding factor in finding ways no matter how hard it was even if i have some self doubts.

00:13:45: Hey, this is a problem and I'm going to find the solution.

00:13:48: You just talked about the moments that occasionally you also have self-doubts.

00:13:54: how do you deal with these moments?

00:13:56: Yeah great question.

00:13:58: so i think it always goes back to the fact that I hate having these self doubts.

00:14:03: And um...I always try not get into downward spiral but I always tried to find a solution.

00:14:08: ...and..i think ..I remind myself that historically speaking again I always find a solution no matter how tough the issue is and if i have The tendency to think, I won't find A Solution.

00:14:19: that.

00:14:19: Just reach out To people who can help me in this situation And just remind myself That hey?

00:14:23: I Always find a Solution.

00:14:25: This might sound a bit.

00:14:26: um yeah i don't know a narcissist ii Don't Have No idea but it all revolves about this.

00:14:30: Yeah

00:14:31: It Is not narcissism i can tell you already.

00:14:34: But In These Moments it sounds like You have an inbuilt Reflex To Say Shit There is a problem, but no.

00:14:46: I'm not giving up!

00:14:48: And there IS the solution and i am gonna find it.

00:14:54: Have you always had this reflex or did you develop in yourself, Adrian?

00:14:59: Great question it has always been a part of me and I think the main thing which can prove this is that even if i didn't have the solution ready, I've tried to find it.

00:15:10: And I was told myself I'm gonna find it!

00:15:13: This demonstrated first when I was very young my friends wanted to play Minecraft together.

00:15:19: we had problems with having expensive computers.

00:15:24: let's just say there were two thousand euros and then I didn't have any skill of building them myself.

00:15:28: but i knew if we were to build them ourselves, We could play Minecraft together.

00:15:31: So I just learned the skills who built computers at the age of like six seven years old.

00:15:36: And uh yeah Then build computers for my friends so that they can play Minecraft even though I never knew I could build computers Just as an anecdote.

00:15:45: So playing minecraft was very motivating At this time.

00:15:49: would you mind sharing your company?

00:15:52: Of course, yeah.

00:15:53: I'm building in biotech where young green tech startup from Frankfurt am Main and our goal is to make streetlights more efficient or intelligent which stems Energy prices are very high and municipalities don't have much money.

00:16:05: So what they sometimes do is turn off the street lights, which is a huge safety hazard.

00:16:09: so What we've built as a device?

00:16:11: you screw it onto the street light And through intelligent motion detection for example We're able to then dim up the streetlight save eighty percent of the energy costs without having The trade-off with safety security at night?

00:16:22: Yeah, I'm now rolling this out in Germany and EU.

00:16:25: when You demonstrated that product to me a few moments ago When basically we met i was just taken by surprise, how easy it was.

00:16:34: So would you visualize the product for our audience?

00:16:38: Yeah, it's just a very small puck.

00:16:39: I always say its not rocket science.

00:16:41: of course It is a multi-layer PCB with many different components but ultimately Its just the device telling street lights to shine at what brightness depending on what external conditions be it motion detection or other streetlights with our communication devices.

00:16:56: But yeah Ultimately takes fifteen minutes to screw in the street light and from day one we save eighty percent of energy.

00:17:02: That amazing.

00:17:05: So this was maybe two minutes with Adrian Reese.

00:17:09: And isn't it exciting?

00:17:11: Isn't inspiring to feel the energy and also listen to his perspective on resilience, he has this reflexive instinct to always go for a solution rather than admiring a problem far way too long.

00:17:26: I love that attitude.

00:17:28: now my question to you quick Paul what do you find more difficult as leader?

00:17:35: A asking for help or B letting go and giving responsibility to others.

00:17:41: Please pick up your phone, going into the show notes now and invest these five seconds just to tick your box!

00:17:48: So what do you find more difficult as a leader?

00:17:51: Asking for help or letting-go & Giving Responsibility To Others?

00:17:55: I'd love to hear your perspective.

00:17:57: Thank You in advance for investing time.

00:18:00: In a nutshell my key takeaway on this topic of resilience The most successful leaders i've met were not invulnerable, they weren't at all superheroes.

00:18:13: They're human!

00:18:15: They knew their limits.

00:18:17: They asked for support when needed it.

00:18:21: They shared responsibility – delegated and empowered more than others thought they would be able to carry And understood that sustainably high performance only exists when you take care of your own energy as well.

00:18:41: When you build your resilience for the time, and perhaps that is most important inside.

00:18:50: Resilience does not mean enduring any time forever!

00:18:55: Resilient means recovering frequently faster than others or even shorter – when leadership believes it has to be superman It's on the wrong path.

00:19:10: Great leadership has courage to stay human and build resilience for time when you need it!

00:19:18: I hope that you enjoyed this podcast, just took a little bit away from it which helps become your version of yourself.

00:19:26: Thanks so much for being here again next week.

00:19:32: Have a great weekend and speak soon!